Indian Documentary Exposes Cannibalism Among Secret Hindu Sect
POSTED: 12:17 pm EDT October 27, 2005
BOMBAY, India -- A new Indian documentary focuses on a secretive sect of Hindu ascetics who eat corpses in the belief that ingesting dead flesh will make them ageless and give them supernatural powers.
"Feeding on the Dead," a 10-minute documentary, delves into the little-known world of the Aghori sect, whose holymen pluck dead bodies from the Ganges River in northern India.
While the sect has been written about, they've rarely been filmed performing rituals.
The director of the documentary said it took him more than three months to gain the trust of an Aghori and persuade him to be filmed while performing a cannibalistic ritual.
Hindus generally cremate the dead, but bodies are sometimes ceremonially disposed of in the Ganges, and the Aghori find the corpses they need in the river.
GIVE ME A BREAK!
Monday, October 31
My Blog completed 1 year!
YEWP Its Wone Wyear!
Wone year of posting {More than wone year of making it in Spetember!}
HEHE Hi!
Wone year of posting {More than wone year of making it in Spetember!}
HEHE Hi!
I am BAAAAAAACKK
Alright.... I am back! It was a GREAT camp... Loved it. Await pix... I am sorry to those people who are awaiting the pix... I was out! (I trekked an 800 ft. mountain....)
Thursday, October 20
My telesope is gathering dust
Its OCTOBER! Well Whaddaya know? Its rainy {It rains 150 days out of 365, and its cloudy 100 days a year!} And I can't wait to see M31 {the Orion Nebula} here outside. Mars is on a close approach on 29th. AND I'll be IN A DUMB CAMP! I'll take my Binocs and my 50mm Delta {tertiary} smaller portable telescope {My Mom's going to be angry!} Oh how I'd love to see it in my Alpha! I just washed & colliminated the 200mm {8 inches} and Observed the earth with it. HA its sharper meaner brighter etc. etc. My binocs are at the fixers... The fungi have grown to enormous proportions {DAMN} and the guy there said he cant fix it! I'll be giving some pics of the rain here.....
Tuesday, October 18
The continuation
Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.
Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "You've been very naughty this year."
Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.
Hang all of your posters up facing the wall.
Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."
Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
Hang your roommate in effigy.
Have really weird friends who have strange loud conversations. Whenever your roommate walks in, you all be quiet and stare at him/her until s/he leaves.
Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho-Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
Hide all your roommate's stuff and tell him/her that s/he never lived with you. Extra points if s/he checks with the housing director.
Hide under a pile of dirty clothes in the closet. Twitch a lot and mutter, "They can't suck my brain if they can't find me!"
Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.
Hold a raffle with your roommate as the prize.
Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If s/he protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.
If you know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
If you live on the first floor, refuse to use the door. Climb in and out through the window. Claim doctor's orders.
If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.
If your roommate has cans of Chef Boyardee, buy dog food in similar-size cans. Switch the labels.
Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed.
Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If s/he asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
Invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommate's bed.
Invite the Dean to sleep over.
Invite the school President to sleep over.
Invite your invisible friends over for a few weeks. Blame them when all his/her beer is gone. Be convincing.
Invite your roommate to play catch out in the yard. Every time you catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming.
Invite your roommate to sleep over.
Invite your roommate's parents to a "surprise" party for your roommate. When they get there, stone them.
Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add to it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that sailboat."
Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."
Keep a harem of thirty Cabbage Patch Kids. Ask if your roommate "has any desires."
Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, she's around here somewhere."
Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your collection of "inert gases." Look at them often. One day, act surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.
Keep feces in your fridge. Complain that there is never anything to eat.
Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian Arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.
Laugh a lot in the morning. Tell your roommate to be happy all the time.
Lay in the middle of the room and chant to pagan gods.
Learn a lot of quotations. Whenever you talk to your roommate, say nothing but quotes for three weeks.
Learn Morse code. Adopt it as your sole method of communication.
Learn the words to all your roommate's favorite songs. Sing along.
Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
Learn to play an accordion.
Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
Leave apple cores on his/her bed.
Leave Kleenexes dipped in mayonnaise on the floor. Tell guests that your roommate is disgusting and show them.
Leave little notes in the shower for him/her.
Leave lots of pills in your drawer, and walk around like a zombie.
Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me." Sign them in blood.
Leave morbid outgoing messages on your answering machine. Be creative.
Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If s/he asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.
Leave urgent telephone messages for him/her when no one has called.
Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out.
Let mice loose in his/her room.
Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything.
Lick him/her while they are asleep.
Lick his/her feet as he sleeps. If s/he wakes up, apologize. After s/he falls asleep, start licking his/her face.
Lie spread-eagled on your roommate's bed. Make him/her move you.
Light your hair on fire. Refuse to put it out.
Listen to Morrisey. Be happy before, during, and after you listen.
Listen to nothing but obscure Broadway musicals. Learn all the words and sing along. Be sure to do all the different voices.
Listen to radio static.
Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
Lock the door while your roommate is out. When s/he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
Lock your door every time you go through it. Tell him/her that you're afraid of aliens.
To be continued....
Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "You've been very naughty this year."
Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.
Hang all of your posters up facing the wall.
Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."
Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
Hang your roommate in effigy.
Have really weird friends who have strange loud conversations. Whenever your roommate walks in, you all be quiet and stare at him/her until s/he leaves.
Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho-Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
Hide all your roommate's stuff and tell him/her that s/he never lived with you. Extra points if s/he checks with the housing director.
Hide under a pile of dirty clothes in the closet. Twitch a lot and mutter, "They can't suck my brain if they can't find me!"
Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.
Hold a raffle with your roommate as the prize.
Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If s/he protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.
If you know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
If you live on the first floor, refuse to use the door. Climb in and out through the window. Claim doctor's orders.
If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.
If your roommate has cans of Chef Boyardee, buy dog food in similar-size cans. Switch the labels.
Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed.
Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If s/he asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
Invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommate's bed.
Invite the Dean to sleep over.
Invite the school President to sleep over.
Invite your invisible friends over for a few weeks. Blame them when all his/her beer is gone. Be convincing.
Invite your roommate to play catch out in the yard. Every time you catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming.
Invite your roommate to sleep over.
Invite your roommate's parents to a "surprise" party for your roommate. When they get there, stone them.
Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add to it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that sailboat."
Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."
Keep a harem of thirty Cabbage Patch Kids. Ask if your roommate "has any desires."
Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, she's around here somewhere."
Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your collection of "inert gases." Look at them often. One day, act surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.
Keep feces in your fridge. Complain that there is never anything to eat.
Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian Arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.
Laugh a lot in the morning. Tell your roommate to be happy all the time.
Lay in the middle of the room and chant to pagan gods.
Learn a lot of quotations. Whenever you talk to your roommate, say nothing but quotes for three weeks.
Learn Morse code. Adopt it as your sole method of communication.
Learn the words to all your roommate's favorite songs. Sing along.
Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
Learn to play an accordion.
Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
Leave apple cores on his/her bed.
Leave Kleenexes dipped in mayonnaise on the floor. Tell guests that your roommate is disgusting and show them.
Leave little notes in the shower for him/her.
Leave lots of pills in your drawer, and walk around like a zombie.
Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me." Sign them in blood.
Leave morbid outgoing messages on your answering machine. Be creative.
Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If s/he asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.
Leave urgent telephone messages for him/her when no one has called.
Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out.
Let mice loose in his/her room.
Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything.
Lick him/her while they are asleep.
Lick his/her feet as he sleeps. If s/he wakes up, apologize. After s/he falls asleep, start licking his/her face.
Lie spread-eagled on your roommate's bed. Make him/her move you.
Light your hair on fire. Refuse to put it out.
Listen to Morrisey. Be happy before, during, and after you listen.
Listen to nothing but obscure Broadway musicals. Learn all the words and sing along. Be sure to do all the different voices.
Listen to radio static.
Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
Lock the door while your roommate is out. When s/he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
Lock your door every time you go through it. Tell him/her that you're afraid of aliens.
To be continued....
Monday, October 17
Lunar Eclipse details for Calcutta
Partial Lunar eclipse
17 Oct 2005 AD
Maximum phase: 0.066
Circumstances (Time = UT + 5.5h):
17 Oct 2005 AD
Beginning of penumbral eclipse: 15h 22.7m
Beginning of partial eclipse: 17h 5.6m
Maximum phase: 17h 34.5m
Ending of partial eclipse: 18h 3.1m
Ending of penumbral eclipse: 19h 46.2m
Position angles:
Beginning of penumbral eclipse: 101.2°
Beginning of partial eclipse: 137.4°
Ending of partial eclipse: 168.0°
Ending of penumbral eclipse: 204.3°
ET-UT = +70.8s
17 Oct 2005 AD
Maximum phase: 0.066
Circumstances (Time = UT + 5.5h):
17 Oct 2005 AD
Beginning of penumbral eclipse: 15h 22.7m
Beginning of partial eclipse: 17h 5.6m
Maximum phase: 17h 34.5m
Ending of partial eclipse: 18h 3.1m
Ending of penumbral eclipse: 19h 46.2m
Position angles:
Beginning of penumbral eclipse: 101.2°
Beginning of partial eclipse: 137.4°
Ending of partial eclipse: 168.0°
Ending of penumbral eclipse: 204.3°
ET-UT = +70.8s
Blogallenge!
Well... I accepted a challenge from Alarond to Blog on how much I 'like' going to school....
So here it is. But then the discalimer
I HATE GOING TO SCHOOL. THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE IS GOING TO THE DENTIST'S. MY IDEA OF HELL IS GETTING MY TEETH DRILLED IN THE STAFF-ROOM OF MY SCHOOL BY MY PHYSICS TEACHER. SO DO NOT GET ANY IDEAS ABOUT ME 'LOVING' SCHOLL {See I can't even spell it}
Here is my essay:
BACK To School
At last the saviour of our boredom: School is going to start at long last. I was getting pretty bored, now that school has started, I could get back to studying. Wow! I love studying! We are going to learn Statistics in a record 3 days including Mode, Median etc. Isn't that cool? That is very cool! I'll be waiting for my Physics teacher to make us learn Nuclear Physics and my Chemistry teacher for Atomic spin! Nice I know. I can start talking to my friends in reality. I can't wait to get back!!!!!
Thats all I can say for going back to school.
But then what I can say against it can be summed up in one word :
BLECH! {translated as :BLECH!
Thats for anyone who missed the sarcasm!
So here it is. But then the discalimer
I HATE GOING TO SCHOOL. THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE IS GOING TO THE DENTIST'S. MY IDEA OF HELL IS GETTING MY TEETH DRILLED IN THE STAFF-ROOM OF MY SCHOOL BY MY PHYSICS TEACHER. SO DO NOT GET ANY IDEAS ABOUT ME 'LOVING' SCHOLL {See I can't even spell it}
Here is my essay:
BACK To School
At last the saviour of our boredom: School is going to start at long last. I was getting pretty bored, now that school has started, I could get back to studying. Wow! I love studying! We are going to learn Statistics in a record 3 days including Mode, Median etc. Isn't that cool? That is very cool! I'll be waiting for my Physics teacher to make us learn Nuclear Physics and my Chemistry teacher for Atomic spin! Nice I know. I can start talking to my friends in reality. I can't wait to get back!!!!!
Thats all I can say for going back to school.
But then what I can say against it can be summed up in one word :
BLECH! {translated as :BLECH!
Thats for anyone who missed the sarcasm!
Friday, October 14
Cat-fight!!!!!!!!
From our staff reporter
There was a catfight at 11:30 p.m yesternight. The cats were allegedly fighting for food, a local observer said. "The Cats were fighting at night, and then they woke me up... The larger one said Meeeeeeeeeooooww while the smaller one said Meeeoooooooooooooow. They were fighting like anything. They woke me up." said the Yasser Arafat * who was visibly shaken. But Airulogist Joshiyo* claims that by the sounds they produced, it was apparent that they were NOT fighting, but it was a mating ritual. He claims that Arafat scared them off before they could go on. But the landlord, (Who does not wish to be named) said that it was the previous day's leftover fish from Durga Puja....
*Name changed to protect privacy.
There was a catfight at 11:30 p.m yesternight. The cats were allegedly fighting for food, a local observer said. "The Cats were fighting at night, and then they woke me up... The larger one said Meeeeeeeeeooooww while the smaller one said Meeeoooooooooooooow. They were fighting like anything. They woke me up." said the Yasser Arafat * who was visibly shaken. But Airulogist Joshiyo* claims that by the sounds they produced, it was apparent that they were NOT fighting, but it was a mating ritual. He claims that Arafat scared them off before they could go on. But the landlord, (Who does not wish to be named) said that it was the previous day's leftover fish from Durga Puja....
*Name changed to protect privacy.
Thursday, October 13
Calcutta is the only place where......
Traffic jams are common which comprise 1 tram, 4 autos, 6 taxis, 2 mtorcylces and 10 cars. I HATE it.
Wel, there was this tram which got derailed {pretty common as these things are ancient} and blocked one lane of traffic. Then one auto {A three-wheeled thingus automobile. Hasn't anyone seen Octopussy?} decided enough was enough, and decided to cross over the other lane. That was exactly when another auto came from the other side. They blocked each other and started bickering. The motorcyclists also got out and started bickering. 2 autos on the sly tried to get past. Unfortunately only tried. 1 driver got out and as a policeman hassle-freed the unfortunate road near College Street in Calcutta.
TCH TCH
Wel, there was this tram which got derailed {pretty common as these things are ancient} and blocked one lane of traffic. Then one auto {A three-wheeled thingus automobile. Hasn't anyone seen Octopussy?} decided enough was enough, and decided to cross over the other lane. That was exactly when another auto came from the other side. They blocked each other and started bickering. The motorcyclists also got out and started bickering. 2 autos on the sly tried to get past. Unfortunately only tried. 1 driver got out and as a policeman hassle-freed the unfortunate road near College Street in Calcutta.
TCH TCH
Tuesday, October 11
Was browsing through an old CGW
Its amazing how things can change over a few years.......
I was browsing CGW {Computer Gaming World} 's 2001 issue. There a 32 MB Graphics card was considered Godlike!
Funny. I have a 256 MB GFX card and love it...... But it still feels good when seeing this! At least.....
Anyway enjoy the prev post!
I was browsing CGW {Computer Gaming World} 's 2001 issue. There a 32 MB Graphics card was considered Godlike!
Funny. I have a 256 MB GFX card and love it...... But it still feels good when seeing this! At least.....
Anyway enjoy the prev post!
Continuation of the How to annoy series!
Welll.... Kanti said:
So heres more. {50% mine}
Dance around the room with underwear on your head while listening to old Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass records. If your roommate questions you, throw a pair on his/her head and TANGO!!!
Develop ESP. Answer all of your roommate's questions before s/he asks them.
Develop Multiple Personality Disorder. Use your other selves to act out Shakespearean tragedies.
Develop partial amnesia each time you go to sleep. When you wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate. Spend hours finding out everything about him/her, and just before you go to bed, say you think you and s/he will be great friends. When you wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate...
Do all your homework in the bathroom, using the toilet as a desk.
Do impressions all the time. Good ones to try: Mr. T, Gilbert Gottfried, Judy Tenuta, Roseanne Barr.
Don't ever flush.
Don't shower for three weeks. Complain often about the stench. Demand that your roommate do his/her laundry.
Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If s/he asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
Dress as similarly as possible like your roommate. Walk closely next to him/her the whole day, remarking "Don't we look like twins?" to any passersby.
Dress in drag.
Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If s/he refuses, insist that s/he do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."
Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
Drink a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
Dye all your underwear lime green.
Eat a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whipped cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
Eat glass.
Eat jewelry. Accessorize food.
Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
Eat lots of alphabet soup. Throw out any of the letters that are in your roommate's name; claim you want nothing to do with them.
Eat moths.
Eat raw pasta for dinner.
Every hour on the hour, call to get the time. Reset each of your clocks to the second. Remark that your roommate has no respect for the virtue of being prompt.
Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When s/he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If s/he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds, until s/he does so.
Every now and then start twitching violently and scream "Snakes, snakes!"
Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If s/he asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what s/he is talking about.
Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When s/he leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."
Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
Explain that you need to sell your bed to make ends meet. Ask if you can sleep in your roommate's bed. If s/he refuses, ask if you can sell his/her bed instead.
Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that s/he hurt its feelings. Watch TV with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time s/he coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"
Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
Find out your roommate's mother's name. Tatoo it on your inner thigh, then claim, "She made me do it!"
Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS.
Five minutes after you go to bed, claim that you think the Boogeyman is hiding in your closet. Make your roommate check the closet. Five minutes later, claim he is hiding under your bed. Make your roommate check. Repeat as desired.
Follow him/her around on weekends.
Follow your roommate around all day whispering, "I can reach where you can't."
Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start again.
Funnel Pepsi.
Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
Get a Brother P-Touch labeler. Label EVERYTHING!!!
Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
Get a copy of your roommate's car key. Turn his/her car around in its parking space. A few days later, move it to the next space. A few days after that, move it two spaces over. Continue until you start moving the car to a different lot.
Get a friend to leave a phone message for you with your roommate, saying the test results came back positive. When your roommate tells you, cough, faint, and then refuse to discuss it.
Get a loft. Sleep hanging upside down from it like a bat.
Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.
Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while s/he is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
Get your roommate's social security number. Call the registrar and switch all of his/her classes. Tell your roommate at the end of the term that the Philosophical Environmental Anthropology exam is supposed to be really hard. Wish him/her luck.
Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.
Give him/her an allowance.
Give unsolicited sensual massages at least once daily.
Give your roommate a jar of peanuts. Wait until s/he has eaten half of them, then explain they used to be chocolate-covered, but you licked all the chocolate off of them. As an aside, mention that you are coming down with the flu.
Give your roommate a plastic bag. Ask him/her to shit in it because your pet dung beetles are hungry.
Give your roommate the gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song.
Give your roommate's clothes to the Salvation Army.
Go for joy-rides in the washing machine.
Go through his/her books hilighting all instances of the words "death" and "children." Insist that he study them.
Go through medical supply catalogs circling all electric drill and suction devices. Leave them (the catalogs, not the devices) lying around.
Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
Groom yourself like a cat.
Await more on the How to Annoy series
So heres more. {50% mine}
Dance around the room with underwear on your head while listening to old Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass records. If your roommate questions you, throw a pair on his/her head and TANGO!!!
Develop ESP. Answer all of your roommate's questions before s/he asks them.
Develop Multiple Personality Disorder. Use your other selves to act out Shakespearean tragedies.
Develop partial amnesia each time you go to sleep. When you wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate. Spend hours finding out everything about him/her, and just before you go to bed, say you think you and s/he will be great friends. When you wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate...
Do all your homework in the bathroom, using the toilet as a desk.
Do impressions all the time. Good ones to try: Mr. T, Gilbert Gottfried, Judy Tenuta, Roseanne Barr.
Don't ever flush.
Don't shower for three weeks. Complain often about the stench. Demand that your roommate do his/her laundry.
Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If s/he asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
Dress as similarly as possible like your roommate. Walk closely next to him/her the whole day, remarking "Don't we look like twins?" to any passersby.
Dress in drag.
Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If s/he refuses, insist that s/he do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."
Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
Drink a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
Dye all your underwear lime green.
Eat a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whipped cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
Eat glass.
Eat jewelry. Accessorize food.
Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
Eat lots of alphabet soup. Throw out any of the letters that are in your roommate's name; claim you want nothing to do with them.
Eat moths.
Eat raw pasta for dinner.
Every hour on the hour, call to get the time. Reset each of your clocks to the second. Remark that your roommate has no respect for the virtue of being prompt.
Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When s/he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If s/he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds, until s/he does so.
Every now and then start twitching violently and scream "Snakes, snakes!"
Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If s/he asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what s/he is talking about.
Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When s/he leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."
Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
Explain that you need to sell your bed to make ends meet. Ask if you can sleep in your roommate's bed. If s/he refuses, ask if you can sell his/her bed instead.
Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that s/he hurt its feelings. Watch TV with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time s/he coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"
Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
Find out your roommate's mother's name. Tatoo it on your inner thigh, then claim, "She made me do it!"
Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS.
Five minutes after you go to bed, claim that you think the Boogeyman is hiding in your closet. Make your roommate check the closet. Five minutes later, claim he is hiding under your bed. Make your roommate check. Repeat as desired.
Follow him/her around on weekends.
Follow your roommate around all day whispering, "I can reach where you can't."
Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start again.
Funnel Pepsi.
Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
Get a Brother P-Touch labeler. Label EVERYTHING!!!
Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
Get a copy of your roommate's car key. Turn his/her car around in its parking space. A few days later, move it to the next space. A few days after that, move it two spaces over. Continue until you start moving the car to a different lot.
Get a friend to leave a phone message for you with your roommate, saying the test results came back positive. When your roommate tells you, cough, faint, and then refuse to discuss it.
Get a loft. Sleep hanging upside down from it like a bat.
Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.
Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while s/he is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
Get your roommate's social security number. Call the registrar and switch all of his/her classes. Tell your roommate at the end of the term that the Philosophical Environmental Anthropology exam is supposed to be really hard. Wish him/her luck.
Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.
Give him/her an allowance.
Give unsolicited sensual massages at least once daily.
Give your roommate a jar of peanuts. Wait until s/he has eaten half of them, then explain they used to be chocolate-covered, but you licked all the chocolate off of them. As an aside, mention that you are coming down with the flu.
Give your roommate a plastic bag. Ask him/her to shit in it because your pet dung beetles are hungry.
Give your roommate the gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song.
Give your roommate's clothes to the Salvation Army.
Go for joy-rides in the washing machine.
Go through his/her books hilighting all instances of the words "death" and "children." Insist that he study them.
Go through medical supply catalogs circling all electric drill and suction devices. Leave them (the catalogs, not the devices) lying around.
Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
Groom yourself like a cat.
UH AME
I AM: a High Elven Prince {MUHUHAHAHAHA}
I WANT: a familiar {tranlated as a pet}
I HAVE: a wonderful mother and a sexy computer
I WISH: I was patient
I HATE: people who are jealous of others and socially kill them
I MISS: my ex-girlfriend
I FEAR: trusting and getting hurt
I HEAR: what people DON'T say
I SEARCH: for people I trust to be friends with
I WONDER: how Calcutta's most lively moment is during the Durga Pujas when it basically reaches a Dead end
I LOVE: when I can change into Kazarelth and come home to Fealdamar
I AM ALWAYS: ready to laugh
I AM NOT ALWAYS: patient
I AM NOT: your normal Prince
I DANCE: NO!
I SING: in the car and don't care when people see me ja
I CRY: more for other people than for myself
I WRITE: only when I have to
I SHOULD: not gossip
MY FATHER: is about to retire
MY MOTHER: is a constant source of entertainment
YES OR NO...
You keep a diary: no.
You like to cook: No.
You have a secret: Yes....
You set your clock ahead a few minutes: Yes, To Fealdamar Standard Time {FEST}
You bite your fingernails: Yes {As a mortal}
You believe in love: Yes and No
DO YOU....
Have a crush: YEP!
Want to get married: UM.
Have any tattoos? nope
Piercings/where?: NO
Get motion sickness:
Think you're a health freak: Uh, no, Me IMMORTAL!
Get along with your parents: sometimes....
Like thunderstorms: Of course. I love stormy weather
And now for questions:
What are you listening to right now? Evansecence : My Immortal
What was the last thing you ate? Chocolate
Last person you spoke to on the phone? Alarond
How old are you today? As a mortal 15 years
Favorite sport to watch? F1
Have you ever dyed your hair? No
Any Pets? As the Prince lots of familiars
Favorite food? Dark Chocolate and Tea
What was the last movie you watched? Ocean's Twelve
What do you do to vent anger? Suppres and kill it through imagination
What was your favorite toy as a child? GI-Joe!!!!!
When was the last time you cried? about a month ago.
What is on the floor of your closet? My secret.......erm......er.......Shoe?
What are you afraid of? Losing my imagination and dear dear dear Fealdamar.
Favorite car? ......
How many years at your current job? Uh..... If you mean Elven Prince then.....
How many states have you lived in? 2
How many cities have you lived in? 2
I WANT: a familiar {tranlated as a pet}
I HAVE: a wonderful mother and a sexy computer
I WISH: I was patient
I HATE: people who are jealous of others and socially kill them
I MISS: my ex-girlfriend
I FEAR: trusting and getting hurt
I HEAR: what people DON'T say
I SEARCH: for people I trust to be friends with
I WONDER: how Calcutta's most lively moment is during the Durga Pujas when it basically reaches a Dead end
I LOVE: when I can change into Kazarelth and come home to Fealdamar
I AM ALWAYS: ready to laugh
I AM NOT ALWAYS: patient
I AM NOT: your normal Prince
I DANCE: NO!
I SING: in the car and don't care when people see me ja
I CRY: more for other people than for myself
I WRITE: only when I have to
I SHOULD: not gossip
MY FATHER: is about to retire
MY MOTHER: is a constant source of entertainment
YES OR NO...
You keep a diary: no.
You like to cook: No.
You have a secret: Yes....
You set your clock ahead a few minutes: Yes, To Fealdamar Standard Time {FEST}
You bite your fingernails: Yes {As a mortal}
You believe in love: Yes and No
DO YOU....
Have a crush: YEP!
Want to get married: UM.
Have any tattoos? nope
Piercings/where?: NO
Get motion sickness:
Think you're a health freak: Uh, no, Me IMMORTAL!
Get along with your parents: sometimes....
Like thunderstorms: Of course. I love stormy weather
And now for questions:
What are you listening to right now? Evansecence : My Immortal
What was the last thing you ate? Chocolate
Last person you spoke to on the phone? Alarond
How old are you today? As a mortal 15 years
Favorite sport to watch? F1
Have you ever dyed your hair? No
Any Pets? As the Prince lots of familiars
Favorite food? Dark Chocolate and Tea
What was the last movie you watched? Ocean's Twelve
What do you do to vent anger? Suppres and kill it through imagination
What was your favorite toy as a child? GI-Joe!!!!!
When was the last time you cried? about a month ago.
What is on the floor of your closet? My secret.......erm......er.......Shoe?
What are you afraid of? Losing my imagination and dear dear dear Fealdamar.
Favorite car? ......
How many years at your current job? Uh..... If you mean Elven Prince then.....
How many states have you lived in? 2
How many cities have you lived in? 2
Monday, October 10
Shakespeare........UGH
OK I HATE no no..... HATE Shakespeare.
And I hate the Shakespearen Society of Eastern India for the same reason. Especially the foreigners. I am not partial, but sporting a Saree and trying to talk in hindi with the Highest Elven Prince Himself.....
Foreigner {Fem.}: Isea kya kehten heain? {What do they call this...Pointing to a girl dancing in front of the Puja idol.}
Me: Erm....
(to myself): Uh...... My senses don't work.... is it really a foreiner speaking in hindi or did I drink too much Appy Fizz?
F: Isea kya kehten hain?
Me: Uh...... Naach {Dance}
F: (to her friend) Oh its a new type of dancing called Nach
Me: (to myself) : Wow OK how am I gonna make her understand?
F:(to friend) Is she paid or something?
Friend: I dunno ask him.
Me :Damn
F: Use kya ....... um..... what was the word for money?
Friend: You Forgot?
F: Well, it is a hard language.
Me(still thinking): AHA Now the oppurtunity to strike
Me: But Shakespeare's language is harder anyday
F: WHAT!
Friend: He talks English
Me: Of course I do but not....
F: He said Shakespeare's language is hard
Me: Uh Oh.
I managed to evade the Mortar reticle though!
And I hate the Shakespearen Society of Eastern India for the same reason. Especially the foreigners. I am not partial, but sporting a Saree and trying to talk in hindi with the Highest Elven Prince Himself.....
Foreigner {Fem.}: Isea kya kehten heain? {What do they call this...Pointing to a girl dancing in front of the Puja idol.}
Me: Erm....
(to myself): Uh...... My senses don't work.... is it really a foreiner speaking in hindi or did I drink too much Appy Fizz?
F: Isea kya kehten hain?
Me: Uh...... Naach {Dance}
F: (to her friend) Oh its a new type of dancing called Nach
Me: (to myself) : Wow OK how am I gonna make her understand?
F:(to friend) Is she paid or something?
Friend: I dunno ask him.
Me :Damn
F: Use kya ....... um..... what was the word for money?
Friend: You Forgot?
F: Well, it is a hard language.
Me(still thinking): AHA Now the oppurtunity to strike
Me: But Shakespeare's language is harder anyday
F: WHAT!
Friend: He talks English
Me: Of course I do but not....
F: He said Shakespeare's language is hard
Me: Uh Oh.
I managed to evade the Mortar reticle though!
Durga Puja
Well, I am not one of those Pandal hoppers. But then I was forced to go as the photographer. I hate the pujas. Its not that I am not a Hindu or anything, but then the sound, the dB level etc. sucks. But then.... Enjoy
I am exhausted....
I am exhausted....
Saturday, October 8
Pujo eshegaeche!
Yep. This is the time of the year when....
1.) you can't even see Betelgeuse in the sky because of the ground lights.
2.) a man walking has better advantage than a person who has a car.
3.) you arre woken up at 4 in the morning by the shouts outside
4.) The policemen do their duty for once
5.) Kolkata looks its brightest.
Yep its Durga Puja!
Well, I really don't like this time of the year. But the happiness spreads like dengue.{This joke will be understood by calcuttans only}. And one can't help becoming a pakka bangalee {Total Bengali}.
Await pics
1.) you can't even see Betelgeuse in the sky because of the ground lights.
2.) a man walking has better advantage than a person who has a car.
3.) you arre woken up at 4 in the morning by the shouts outside
4.) The policemen do their duty for once
5.) Kolkata looks its brightest.
Yep its Durga Puja!
Well, I really don't like this time of the year. But the happiness spreads like dengue.{This joke will be understood by calcuttans only}. And one can't help becoming a pakka bangalee {Total Bengali}.
Await pics
Friday, October 7
Bring me to life
PLEASE
I am getting toooooooo darn bored Any ideas?
Hello?
Yes I got a really nice NE on my BCKGRND and a nifty tag too
Yes this is a post to give some space
I am getting toooooooo darn bored Any ideas?
Hello?
Yes I got a really nice NE on my BCKGRND and a nifty tag too
Yes this is a post to give some space
Tolkienites
You know what a Tolkienite actually is when:
- You read Lord of the Rings at least three times a year
- You can rattle off the names of the thirteen dwarves
- When you go for a walk, you try to be as quiet as a hobbit
- You insist you're an Elf
- You keep a lookout for Orcs and wolves while walking in the woods
- Your parents are tired of hearing you go on and on about Arwen's role in the movies
- You know what the Rolling Spiked Wheelie-Dealie is
- You're positive the RSWD was a publicity stunt – wasn't it?
- You have a first and last name and a bio for your ME persona
- You're pretty sure you've seen a palantir
- You insisted that your engagement/wedding ring be engraved with tiny little Runic characters
- You know the whole Rings poem by heart
- You're furious over every character they're leaving out of the movies
- You have the trailer downloaded to your hard drive and watch it every day
- You've seen all the different teaser posters – either online or in theaters
- You know the entire history of Middle Earth
- You can't wait to see how they're handling the "Surfing Legolas" bit in the movies
- You name your silver car Shadowfax
- You kill anyone who asks, "Seriously, what is Tolkien?"
- You write lists like this
- You try to engage your friends in a debate over which language(s) Black Speech sounds like
- You learn the Entish language
- Your daydreams/fantasies include one or more LOTR characters
- You start a countdown to the first release date – over seven months away
- You can't believe they moved the release date back a whole year!
- "What do you mean, my ears are starting to look a little pointy?!"
- You're so purist, people are afraid to mention Arwen's name in your presence
- If anyone even mentions Balrog Wings, you'll explode.
- Gollum DOES live in your basement.
- You planted a Mallorn tree in your back yard when you were seven (but it hasn't grown quite yet).
- All of your friends take a step away from you whenever someone refers to Gandalf (g-au-nd-au-lf) as G-an-d-a-lf.
- You hang out in a shadowed corner of bars to pester little people.
- You wish your feet were bigger and only wear shoes when nessasary.
- You refere to your garden as "Gamgee's Garden."
- You carry a bottle of water with you when you go out. If you get mugged you hold it up and start chanting in elven.
- You have a fear of spiders. (Who knows when one will grow to the size of your house?)
- You write poetry in Quenya.
-You have daily arguments between your LotR enemy { For me its Alarond}
- You start Naur en edraith ammen... if someone even mentions Harry Potter
- You read Lord of the Rings at least three times a year
- You can rattle off the names of the thirteen dwarves
- When you go for a walk, you try to be as quiet as a hobbit
- You insist you're an Elf
- You keep a lookout for Orcs and wolves while walking in the woods
- Your parents are tired of hearing you go on and on about Arwen's role in the movies
- You know what the Rolling Spiked Wheelie-Dealie is
- You're positive the RSWD was a publicity stunt – wasn't it?
- You have a first and last name and a bio for your ME persona
- You're pretty sure you've seen a palantir
- You insisted that your engagement/wedding ring be engraved with tiny little Runic characters
- You know the whole Rings poem by heart
- You're furious over every character they're leaving out of the movies
- You have the trailer downloaded to your hard drive and watch it every day
- You've seen all the different teaser posters – either online or in theaters
- You know the entire history of Middle Earth
- You can't wait to see how they're handling the "Surfing Legolas" bit in the movies
- You name your silver car Shadowfax
- You kill anyone who asks, "Seriously, what is Tolkien?"
- You write lists like this
- You try to engage your friends in a debate over which language(s) Black Speech sounds like
- You learn the Entish language
- Your daydreams/fantasies include one or more LOTR characters
- You start a countdown to the first release date – over seven months away
- You can't believe they moved the release date back a whole year!
- "What do you mean, my ears are starting to look a little pointy?!"
- You're so purist, people are afraid to mention Arwen's name in your presence
- If anyone even mentions Balrog Wings, you'll explode.
- Gollum DOES live in your basement.
- You planted a Mallorn tree in your back yard when you were seven (but it hasn't grown quite yet).
- All of your friends take a step away from you whenever someone refers to Gandalf (g-au-nd-au-lf) as G-an-d-a-lf.
- You hang out in a shadowed corner of bars to pester little people.
- You wish your feet were bigger and only wear shoes when nessasary.
- You refere to your garden as "Gamgee's Garden."
- You carry a bottle of water with you when you go out. If you get mugged you hold it up and start chanting in elven.
- You have a fear of spiders. (Who knows when one will grow to the size of your house?)
- You write poetry in Quenya.
-You have daily arguments between your LotR enemy { For me its Alarond}
- You start Naur en edraith ammen... if someone even mentions Harry Potter
LotR jokes!!!
What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
He began to feel Merry
Radagast had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten legs on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing.
He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. Yavanna announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species. The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to Yavanna’s desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that Radagast threw his test on Yavanna’s desk and walked to the door.
Yavanna was surprised. The class was so big that she didn’t know every potential Maia’s name so as Radagast reached the door Yavanna called, "Maia, what’s your name?"
The enraged Radagast pulled up his cloak, showing his leg and said, "You tell me! You tell me!"
Two orcs were walking through the pits of Isengard and one said "Aren’t you afraid of mad-orc disease?" To which the other replied, "Don’t be stupid, I’m a penguin!" { IP IP IP IP IP , My teech}
-Gandalf looking into Palantir-
"I knew I should have watched the weather report for snow-deep on Caradras instead of that silly Ricky Lake show..."
What did Pippin say when he first came to Fangorn?
"May I ENT-er?"
After the visit of Gimli, son of Gloin, the dwarves started coming to Lorien pretty often. Poor Galadriel became bald like a knee..
During The Last Alliance of Elves and Men, an elf was captured by an orc. He was injured very badly, and his arm needed to be amputated.
He asked the orc, "Could you send my arm to Mirkwood?"
The orc said he would.
The next day the elf’s other arm had to be amputated, and he asked if it could be sent to Mirkwood, too.The orc agreed.
Then the elf’s leg had to be amputated, and he asked the same thing. The orc agreed to that as well.
But when the elf’s other leg had to be amputated, and he asked thing same to be done with it, the orc got fed up.
"Now hold on," the orc said, "You’re trying to escape, aren’t you?"
An Ent was once walking by the bank of Anduin and saw a strange log with eyes.
"Hum, hurum?" - he wondered.
"Gollum, Gollum" - the log confirmed.
And the minstrel exclaimed:
-Listen, peoples of Arda! Listen to the ballade about Frodo of the Nine Fingers,Sauron the Red-Eyed, Samwise the Brainless, and other invalids of the Third Age...
Gandalf was lighting his pipe in the burial chamber of Balin:
"Naur an edraith ammen! Naur... oh, shit. Summoned the Balrog...Run!"
He began to feel Merry
Radagast had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten legs on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing.
He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. Yavanna announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species. The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to Yavanna’s desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that Radagast threw his test on Yavanna’s desk and walked to the door.
Yavanna was surprised. The class was so big that she didn’t know every potential Maia’s name so as Radagast reached the door Yavanna called, "Maia, what’s your name?"
The enraged Radagast pulled up his cloak, showing his leg and said, "You tell me! You tell me!"
Two orcs were walking through the pits of Isengard and one said "Aren’t you afraid of mad-orc disease?" To which the other replied, "Don’t be stupid, I’m a penguin!" { IP IP IP IP IP , My teech}
-Gandalf looking into Palantir-
"I knew I should have watched the weather report for snow-deep on Caradras instead of that silly Ricky Lake show..."
What did Pippin say when he first came to Fangorn?
"May I ENT-er?"
After the visit of Gimli, son of Gloin, the dwarves started coming to Lorien pretty often. Poor Galadriel became bald like a knee..
During The Last Alliance of Elves and Men, an elf was captured by an orc. He was injured very badly, and his arm needed to be amputated.
He asked the orc, "Could you send my arm to Mirkwood?"
The orc said he would.
The next day the elf’s other arm had to be amputated, and he asked if it could be sent to Mirkwood, too.The orc agreed.
Then the elf’s leg had to be amputated, and he asked the same thing. The orc agreed to that as well.
But when the elf’s other leg had to be amputated, and he asked thing same to be done with it, the orc got fed up.
"Now hold on," the orc said, "You’re trying to escape, aren’t you?"
An Ent was once walking by the bank of Anduin and saw a strange log with eyes.
"Hum, hurum?" - he wondered.
"Gollum, Gollum" - the log confirmed.
And the minstrel exclaimed:
-Listen, peoples of Arda! Listen to the ballade about Frodo of the Nine Fingers,Sauron the Red-Eyed, Samwise the Brainless, and other invalids of the Third Age...
Gandalf was lighting his pipe in the burial chamber of Balin:
"Naur an edraith ammen! Naur... oh, shit. Summoned the Balrog...Run!"
7 things...
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1] Bring at least one Computer to life from scratch
2] Save one forest.
3] Collect all songs of Evanescence
4] Play all the Strategy games this World has to offer.
5] Kill Alarond with his own staff. Alarond your staff is broken!!!!
6] Learn Sindarin and Valarin { I know Quenya}
7] Be a great Astrophysicist and a Game Programmer.
But technically, I can't die.
Saturday, October 1
Wandering
Like a planet.
Got this book on astronomy from the library called Diamonds in the sky.. It had yellowing pages. I had no idea of how old it was until I read that at that time a new spectral line was found on the Sun of which there was no instanceOf on Earth. Of course HELIUM.
I killed a few Fel Beasts and one Balrog. Getting bored. My comp is to be executed{Read: Formatted} Boo Hoo.
Just because of that I used a Nova Blast.
Bored
Got this book on astronomy from the library called Diamonds in the sky.. It had yellowing pages. I had no idea of how old it was until I read that at that time a new spectral line was found on the Sun of which there was no instanceOf on Earth. Of course HELIUM.
I killed a few Fel Beasts and one Balrog. Getting bored. My comp is to be executed{Read: Formatted} Boo Hoo.
Just because of that I used a Nova Blast.
Bored
An idea strikes home!
I got this idea somewhere. Post the last lines of the books you have read:
Lets see if you can say which books these are from.
Oh and also to be added, last lines of the songs you've heard.
Lets see if you can say which books these are from.
- 'Well, I am back.' he said.
- 'Thank goodness!' said Bilbo laughing, and handed him the tobacco-jar
- Thus made their mourning the men of Geatland,
for their hero's passing his hearth-companions:
quoth that of all the kings of earth,
of men he was mildest and most beloved,
to his kin the kindest, keenest for praise.
- Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of
hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how
she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and
loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about
her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager
with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of
Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their
simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,
remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
- As in his life he was inferior neither to Philip of
Macedon, the father of Alexander, nor to Scipio of Rome, so he died in
the same year of his age as they did, and he would doubtless have
excelled both of them had Fortune decreed that he should be born, not
in Lucca, but in Macedonia or Rome.
- Like a flock of homesick cranes flying night and day back to
their mountain nests let all my life take its voyage to its
eternal home in one salutation to thee.
- And, as if in confirmation of their new dreams and good intentions, as soon as they reached their destination Grete was the first to get up and stretch out her young body.
Oh and also to be added, last lines of the songs you've heard.
- Aicha Aicha - in my life
- For that's enough to argue.
- 'Til then I walk alone...
- Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
- you took away my heart,
- I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore...
- You don't feel me in here anymore...
- all that's left of yesterday
- I've been waiting...
- Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit
- It ends here tonight.
- I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
- servatis a periculum
servatis a maleficum
- And I can't love you, anymore than I do
- I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
- but you still have all of me
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