It was like gunpowder, the smell. And my hands were full of oil.
The Force bloomed in every available orifice of that whore full of unattractive sexuality. And she grinned at me with teeth black as jet and a tongue hiding the odour of a thousand kissed men- all dead.
I smirked and mock-admired the made-up world conjured by this Gatekeeper. When one knows the intricacies of the Force, nothing seems implausible. The sounds of unknown battle ravaged the countryside, and the sky was an impossible colour of carmine laced with vivid lines of puce.
The Force encroached upon this world with the intensity of a viscous gas, pushing you away from every point – consequently pulling you towards some undefined centre. The whore laughed, and told me why my thoughts were correct. Her laughter had an undue amount of attractiveness that her entire form lacked. And she was the Gatekeeper. I told her that, and she told me she had no form.
I nodded; laughing at her sickly form and promptly went and kissed her cheek.
My lips were instantly chapped as she guffawed. I laughed along with her, and her breath smelt of gunpowder. I spat some of the dry-lip-skin on my hands, and they floated on the layer of thick oil it managed to acquire from the made-up world.
She told me that I was funny, and that she has never come across such a person in her wanderings before. I told her that she rarely wandered. Her world wandered.
She shook her head and laughed again, and she clapped her hand as she did so and suddenly we were in a different world, and she had multicoloured drapes that were constantly falling off. She looked seductive enough.
I told her that she still stunk of gunpowder. She looked miffed as the world returned back to the world with the red sky.
She does not speak for some time before I ask her to show me the knowledge that I came all the way here for. She points at her shrivelled body and tells me that it is all there.
I tell her to shut up, laughing at her in the most condescendingly disgusted way.
She tells me, “If space is constant, and time continues, what will happen?” And the twinkle in my eye confirms that the old, ugly hag has asked her first question.
**
The Holocron sits on its throne – in the middle of my study table. The Consul told me to handle the piece with care. He told me that the ancient Sith rituals held powerful secrets. They were guarded, of course. And they would test me.
I accepted the challenge; as a newly instated Priest. Pride is a part of a promotion package.
I delved into it and a hand pulled me in.
**
“The same that will happen when time remains constant, and space expands.” I said. Confidently.
“This was the easiest question, and you got it wrong.”
She leapt upon me like the Mistress of Darkness and fouled my mouth with hers, instantly reducing one half of my brain to nothingness.
I grinned lopsidedly. She laughed in a derisive way, and this time it’s absolutely more adorable. I wanted to ask her to kiss me, and I knew I will need to burn my mouth with xenoboric acid to forget that gunpowder taste.
Acid root would do just fine, she told me.
She tickles my neck and I whimper at her hand, asking her for some more.
She asks about bacta tanks and my mentor next. And I grin through the entire session. The Gatekeeper knew what she was doing. Eroding an amusing person’s mind was fundamentally easy.
“So you don’t know the answer?”
I sat smugly and shook my head cheerfully.
She ravished me. The world we were in was thoroughly washed with ethanol when I opened my eyes and I saw a bird flying away into the air.
Haha. I laughed at that bird when I saw that sexy seductress run her fingers through my hair.
She starts talking and my ears grinned as they heard her voice. I rang. They were all asymmetrical and the world was, on the contrary, not spinning at all. It was zooming, and was lighted up with many bright colours. I enjoyed looking at the colours. The colours had some taste too, as I licked off a few from her ears. I enjoyed that too, and she chided me by asking me something.
I did not even hear it properly the first time.
**
“I will ask you three questions. Easy to hard. Answer one, and you may have my knowledge.”
‘
Ha. Your questions…’ I told the Gatekeeper, ‘
are the test?’
“Yes. You’ll see.” A clap of thunder turned the pearly white room into a world of red and purple. A shaggy old woman was standing in front of me and she promptly kissed me.
I spat and choked on the air.
**
“Do you know?” She asked again.
“No, I don’t know my name!” I cheerfully giggled and told her.
“Then you are mad.”
More DJB madness! :D
This time about Sith Holocrons and what madness will take over you when the twisted semi-sentient Force-imbued Gatekeeper tests you/your mettle.
